whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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