what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
