did you get engaged???
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The best revenge is premature balding
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
