Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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