Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
