just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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