Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
wrigley field is MILF paradise
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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