yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
