I wannas sexs uuuuu
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
