This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
