living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Less talking, more tequila
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
