My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
