Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
