Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
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