Kiss
Puke
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
