It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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