Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
