nut hugger
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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