If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
