She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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