And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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