at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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