Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
