well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Randomize
