Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
and i looked up. we had an audience...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
