So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
