Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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