I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Randomize
