Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
