How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
