Moan for me like Helen Keller
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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