just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
