Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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