so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
