I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
