so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
