You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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