I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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