I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
