the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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