Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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