And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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