Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
