He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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