So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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