I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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