Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
