she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
