I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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