She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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